Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Straight Talk About Marriage & Family Genesis 2:15-25 10/21/2012



Straight talk about marriage and family

Today’s Scripture:  Genesis 2:15-25, NIV 1984

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.  But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones  and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’    for she was taken out of man.”24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Series on straight talk – church/life and death/relationships/don’t tell them that next week we are talking about money

Like to talk today about marriage, parenting, and friendships……….
This is something that all of us deal with.
And it is the source of great joy, and the source of great pain.

So much to say about marriage children and friends
How can we condense this into some simple ideas
Wesleys three rules
We had a sermon series on this a few years ago Anyone
remember any of them?

·        Do no harm
·        Do all the good you can
·        Stay in love with god

Imagine that we lived by these rules

Do no harm - In marriage
4 causes of maritial issues
·        Financial – common goals
·        Children – talk the issues thru
·        Sex
·        In laws –

Two become one
Leave the old ways – leave father and mother
Leave how would normally do it yourself
set healthy boundaries

Do no harm in your marriage
Don't yell at them
Manage your mouth
Don't berate them
Don’t be selfish
Don’t close them out
Don’t let bitterness or fear take over
Don’t give up on them

Do no harm with children
Bill Cosby - If God had trouble with his children, we are probably going to face some issues in this life as well.

Mt 18:1-5
18 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2 He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children,(B) you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.(C) 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.(D)
5 “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.(E) 6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,(F) it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.(G)

Don’t Slap them in anger
Don’t Press them with guilt
Don’t give them too much

Do no harm - Do not hurt your friends
Keep your commitments
Don't ignore them
Don’t take them for granted
Don’t talk behind their backs

Rule #2 Do all the good that you can
All the good in marriage

South broadland Presbyterian church
Borrowed dress.
Ushers wore fish ties
Reception held at a friends house
Honey moon at big lake state park, mound city MO
So far I think it is working out pretty well

Do all the good that you can in your marriage
Love them
Respect them
Honor them
Invest in them
         Talk about you and Cathy.
Work yes or no
College, yes or no
Travel yes or no.
Out with her friends
Girls trip to chicago

Letting them live their lives
Jealousy and possessing the other person
Love is not about possessing something.  It is about willing the best for it.
You cant force them to love you

What else can you do that is good………..
Listen
See your own dysfunction
See that you are part of the problem
Find the healthier you

Relationships – acting vs reacting [the lover creates the love]

But make peace with the fact that they are not romeo or juliet

Have Common goals
Leave your father and mother
Leave your life that was just about you
Sit down and work it out.  Come to common goals and live them out

Do all the good that you can with Children
Invest time in them
Not sports necessarily - but burger king
Listen to them
Tell them about you.  let them get to know you
Hug them, love them. nurture them
validate their existence

remember that the kids are leaving you………..
The primary relationship in the home must be the marriage. 
Live with the thought in mind that one day it will again be you two
Thanksgiving in florida.
Keeping your family together is a nice idea. 
I love it, but you cannot force it.  It is not up to you.  It is up to them.
Ignore this to your peril

Preparing your children for the real world.  For the future.
My last child moved out yesterday.  Now all three are renting apartments.
I was 10% melancholy 70% proud of them, 30% excited

Do all the good that you can with Friends
Smile when u see them
Make time for them
Let them know that they matter to u
If you want a friend, be a friend
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Rule #3
Stay in love with god
Keep life in perspective
See your own personal craziness and work to get it out of the way
The pursuit of mental health usually lies outside of our comfort zone.

Slow down.  Find the peace.  Find the joy
Understand others.  give them grace.
The power of grace cannot be overstated

Jesus gave more than he received.  When you are expending more energy that you might otherwise, you may be on the way of Christ

Eph 4:32 “forgive one another, as God through Christ has forgiven you”
Luke 6:31 “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

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