Straight
talk about marriage and family
Today’s
Scripture: Genesis 2:15-25, NIV 1984
18 The
Lord God said, “It is not good for
the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground
all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to
the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living
creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the
livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for
Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while
he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with
flesh. 22 Then the Lord God
made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to
the man.23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and
flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she
was taken out of man.”24 For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.25 The
man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Series
on straight talk
– church/life and death/relationships/don’t tell them that next week we are
talking about money
Like
to talk today about marriage, parenting, and friendships……….
This
is something that all of us deal with.
And
it is the source of great joy, and the source of great pain.
So
much to say about marriage children and friends
How
can we condense this into some simple ideas
Wesleys
three rules
We
had a sermon series on this a few years ago Anyone
remember
any of them?
·
Do
no harm
·
Do
all the good you can
·
Stay
in love with god
Imagine
that we lived by these rules
Do
no harm - In marriage
4
causes of maritial issues
·
Financial
– common goals
·
Children
– talk the issues thru
·
Sex
·
In
laws –
Two
become one
Leave
the old ways – leave father and mother
Leave
how would normally do it yourself
set
healthy boundaries
Do
no harm in your marriage
Don't
yell at them
Manage
your mouth
Don't
berate them
Don’t
be selfish
Don’t
close them out
Don’t
let bitterness or fear take over
Don’t
give up on them
Do
no harm with children
Bill
Cosby - If God had trouble with his children, we are probably going to face
some issues in this life as well.
Mt 18:1-5
18
At
that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven?”
2
He
called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he
said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and
become like little children,(B) you will never enter the kingdom of
heaven.(C) 4 Therefore,
whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven.(D)
5
“And
whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.(E) 6 But if anyone causes one of
these little ones who believe in me to sin,(F) it would be better for him to have a
large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.(G)
Don’t
Slap them in anger
Don’t
Press them with guilt
Don’t
give them too much
Do
no harm - Do not hurt your friends
Keep
your commitments
Don't
ignore them
Don’t
take them for granted
Don’t
talk behind their backs
Rule
#2 Do all the good that you can
All
the good in marriage
South
broadland Presbyterian church
Borrowed
dress.
Ushers
wore fish ties
Reception
held at a friends house
Honey
moon at big lake state park, mound city MO
So
far I think it is working out pretty well
Do
all the good that you can in your marriage
Love
them
Respect
them
Honor
them
Invest
in them
Talk about you and Cathy.
Work yes or no
College, yes or no
Travel yes or no.
Out with her friends
Girls trip to chicago
Letting
them live their lives
Jealousy
and possessing the other person
Love
is not about possessing something. It is about willing the best for it.
You
cant force them to love you
What
else can you do that is good………..
Listen
See
your own dysfunction
See
that you are part of the problem
Find
the healthier you
Relationships
– acting vs reacting [the lover creates the love]
But
make peace with the fact that they are not romeo or juliet
Have
Common goals
Leave
your father and mother
Leave
your life that was just about you
Sit
down and work it out. Come to common goals and live them out
Do
all the good that you can with Children
Invest
time in them
Not
sports necessarily - but burger king
Listen
to them
Tell
them about you. let them get to know you
Hug
them, love them. nurture them
validate
their existence
remember
that the kids are leaving you………..
The
primary relationship in the home must be the marriage.
Live
with the thought in mind that one day it will again be you two
Thanksgiving
in florida.
Keeping
your family together is a nice idea.
I
love it, but you cannot force it. It is not up to you. It is up to
them.
Ignore
this to your peril
Preparing
your children for the real world. For the future.
My
last child moved out yesterday. Now all three are renting apartments.
I
was 10% melancholy 70% proud of them, 30% excited
Do
all the good that you can with Friends
Smile
when u see them
Make
time for them
Let
them know that they matter to u
If
you want a friend, be a friend
Do
unto others as you would have them do unto you
Rule
#3
Stay
in love with god
Keep
life in perspective
See
your own personal craziness and work to get it out of the way
The
pursuit of mental health usually lies outside of our comfort zone.
Slow
down. Find the peace. Find the joy
Understand
others. give them grace.
The
power of grace cannot be overstated
Jesus
gave more than he received. When you are expending more energy that you
might otherwise, you may be on the way of Christ
Eph
4:32 “forgive one another, as God through Christ has forgiven you”
Luke
6:31 “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
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