Hard Candy - Unwrap the Hard Sayings of Jesus - Peace or Sword - 8/17/14

Sermon 8-17-14 hard sayings – peace or sword  mt 10:34-39

34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father,   a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—36     a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[c]

37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it

Series – hard sayings…..this one is surely a hard one!

One thing is certain, Jesus did not advocate conflict.

He was prophecied as the prince of peace

Angels announced him saying - Peace on earth, goodwill towards men

He taught His followers to turn the other cheek

No resistance or retaliation when they were attacked or ill treated

In the beatitudes he said, “Blessed are the peacemakers”

Scolding peter at His arrest

Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. ⁵¹ With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.⁵² “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. ⁵³ Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? ⁵⁴ But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” mt 26:50-54

Why a sword? Context – it seems out of character for Jesus

Cut to the quick – cut to the heart – get to the heart of the matter –

cause some new  thinking. 

He is going to disrupt your life paradigm

Fine.  But separate me from my family?

For many of us, the thought of actively proclaiming that our love for mother, father, brother, sister, is less than our love for Christ is a heartbreaking task. Who among us can scoop up a child or grandchild, and then announce you love Christ more than the child?

Intro - Relational issues. Mine. Issues with my family Love for my family

How much do I love my wife and  kids

The bonding that we have with our family.  mom, dad, sisters, wife and kids

I’m reminded of Abraham and when God called him to sacrifice Isaac.

How hard must that have been.

Isaac was the sign of the promise

God didn’t want issac on the throne of Abrahams heart

God wanted to sit on that throne

By the way, who, what is sitting on the throne of your heart?

Lets talk about The nature of patriarchal clans

Dedication to the leader of the clan

If we didn’t listen, we would starve to death

Prior to the reformation there was not all this emphasis on individual decisions

Honor your father and your mother

Abraham leaves ur of the chaldees…….he doesn’t take a poll

Philippian jailer

Constantine becomes a Christian

Jesus is saying, love the head of the clan……..thats me/him/Jesus

You are in a new family now

Another interesting passage on the family is: Mark 3

²⁰ Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. ²¹ When his family^[b] heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

²² And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Beelzebul! By the prince of demons he is driving out demons.”

²³ So Jesus called them over to him and began to speak to them in parables: “How can Satan drive out Satan? ²⁴ If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. ²⁵ If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. ²⁶ And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. ²⁷ In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house. ²⁸ Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, ²⁹ but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.”

³⁰ He said this because they were saying, “He has an impure spirit.”

³¹ Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. ³² A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” ³³ “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. ³⁴ Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! ³⁵ Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” Mk 3:20-35

Obedience to God

If you follow me there may be decisions that you would have to make that your family will not understand.

They wont come home for Christmas

They might become a missionary and move to Africa

When I was 25 I became a Methodist.  I wanted to be a Methodist pastor.

          If your kid becomes a Presbyterian or a catholic or a Baptist, its ok

One time in my life when my mom went to war against a decision that I was making. 

Book- where does a mother go to resign?          PICTURE

She thought she was right.  It was my decision.  Everyone has to follow their soul, whether their family agrees or not.

Are kids and our family don’t belong to us.  We are only stewards.

Hannah

Was childless.  Prayed for a child

Samuel was born.  She gave him back to God

Letting children go . . . let God have them.

IF God gives her a son she'll give him back. She released him for God purpose.

Another interesting passage is in luke 9

⁵⁷ As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” ⁵⁸ Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” ⁵⁹ He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” ⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” ⁶¹ Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” ⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Lk 9:57-62

They were making excuses

Let me bury my father. You go proclain

Jesus wasn’t against this, it was an excuse

What are your excuses?

There is a reward for living life in perspective

Remember the rich young ruler story -

21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is[e] to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

26 The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, “Who then can be saved?” 27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

28 Then Peter spoke up, “We have left everything to follow you!”

29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”  Mk 10

And so we end with a consideration Self denial

Whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me

Find your life and lose it.  lose your life to find it.

We should not shrink from inconvenience or sacrifice in service of God's kingdom.

We should give up our definition of the good life with the goal of personal success to find our true identity and purpose in Christ's service.

If my life is about my wife an d kids I have nothing left to give to God.

If my life is about God, I become so much more that I can give to my family.

What we thought was a passage about not loving has turned into a passage about loving God

Not a negative against your family, but a positive for everyone

Love your enemies.  Pray for those who persecute you. 

Turn the world on its head. 

Yet its not an either or 

God’s love does not operate on the theory that there is only so much love to go around. Loving Christ more does not diminish the love one already has for family.

Loving Christ more instead raises the entire level of love available for all people - especially those whom we already hold dear.

Lets pray.

New Beginnings: Encouragement, John 21:15-19, 05/11/14

Sermon 5-11-2014 new beginnings – resurrection stories peter reinstated Jn 21:15-25

¹⁵ When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” ¹⁶ Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” ¹⁷ The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. ¹⁸ Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” ¹⁹ Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

Its mothers day.  My mother is here.  The sermon better be good.

New beginnings – resurrection stories

There is so much here

Do you love me? 3 times.  I love you

Saying I  love you once is not enough

Lets go back in time

Jesus says-Come follow me and I will make you to become fishers of men

That is peters purpose

Yet he has denied jesus three times

Yes there was the appearance in the upper room,

Now he has gone back to fishing

7 of them are together

“I’m going out to fish,”

but that night they caught nothing. 

⁴ Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was him “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”  “No,” they answered. 

 “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

Net breaking, boat sinking load of fish

Jumps in, 100 yards from shore

They eat some fish

 ¹⁴ This was the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

Fishing on the wrong side………hey, fish on the other side.

Roll your eyes…….right - Ok, whatever

Jesus is trying to get them and us to see that often the way that seems right to us is not what we should be doing

To take an honest look from time to time is very healthy

The appearance in the upper room was general. This is personal

Today peter is reinstated.

Maybe you have had a fractured relationship and hoped to reconcile

You ran into each other.  You were glad to be in proximity

But you didn’t really get to talk

You are still not sure where things stand

Then one day you get a sit down

This is that moment for peter.  A moment of hope.

In this story jesus does the following

Finds him / Loves him / Forgives him  /Sends him- feed my sheep

One theologian suggests

In life, Jesus walks thru the stormy seas.  He comes walking on water

Now it is Jesus on the shore

The work is done

The disciples must do the work on the stormy seas

Jesus has done all that he can do, the rest of the work is up to us

Find, love forgive, send

Interesting ly, this is what churches are supposed to do

Invite grow send

Easum conference

this is also what good parents, good mothers,  mentors do as well

Find the person.  Love the person. forgive the person.  Send the person.

Those who love others are never content to allow a relationship to languish

They are never content to allow someone to under produce

Sometimes this is out of our control

But when you love people, you desire that they fulfill their potential-

6^th grade mrs jackson

And we reach out to our kids

It is amazing the power that parents have over children

                You say a sharp word and you forget it.  They dont

                Dad- I cant be your dad and your friend

                I have never had any friends

                Vs

                I love you and I am proud of you

The power of  words.  Use them wisely

They carry on well past your death

Jesus could have asked him anything

Do u fear me?  do u believe in me?  do you honor me? will you serve me?

Bu he asks…….Do you love me

Why?  Love is the fulfillment of the commandments. 

When a person acts out in love, everything else is taken care of

love is what holds relationships together

Jesus is not content with us languishing in our worst moments

The denials were peters worst moment

But they were not to be his last.

All of us have a story.  A worst moment.

You can feel like you are stuck in the muck sometimes

It can be pretty depressing

Pretty lonely

Out fishing on the lake. t’s a lonely moment…. Not catching a thing

Quiet times fishing…. Lots to think about

Then the stranger calls calls to him – they have the big catch

He comes running- swimming 100 yards

How fast would you run to receive forgiveness?

He wanted his life to be about more than the denials

And now he has a new chance

The resurrection is about second chances

Hope in the face of brokenness

Find, love, forgive, send

Everyone needs to be found

Everyone needs to be loved

Not everyone knows it, but everyone needs to be forgiven

  When someone is stuck on their sin, they are stuck on themselves

  When someone is forgiven they get off of themselves, & back on mission

Then the can be sent

Someone was expecting you to throw them away and you gave them grace

Someone was disappointed in their past and u showed them a new future.

What god has done for us

We have the power to do for others

Find them.  Love them.  Forgive them.  Send them.

Raytown video

Relationship Series-Life Together with Enemies Luke 6:27-36 05/13/2012

Sermon 5-13-12 Lk 6:27-36 – relationships, life together with enemies-

27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,(AH) 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.(AI) 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.(AJ) 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.(AK)
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?(AL) Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you?(AM) Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them,(AN) and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons(AO) of the Most High,(AP) because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful,(AQ) just as your Father(AR) is merciful.


Relationship series –life together - -With your enemies

Mothers day

Lessons from our mothers
this is one of the main things that our mothers taught us………..
Do unto others
If you cant say anything nice
Paul added -Don’t return evil for evil but overcome evil with good [Romans 12]

Mothers prepare us for life
Something special happens at the kitchen table
I didn’t know who they were
They didn’t know who I was
I didn’t know who I was
Later in life you learn the value of your parents
Sitting at lunch with my dad
For the difficult moment s of life

Mothers prepare us for life
So do fathers
So does God

Lets look at the passage. You have all heard this.
is it here simply so that we will feel bad for the ways that we don’t measure up?
Is that why jesus said these words?
Or is there another reason.

There is. He believed in us.
I am not asking the impossible- I believe you can do this
I believe you can do this
Carl Jackson part 1 – that’s the one that you are going to have to win. End there.
Our mother, our father, our father in heaven invites us to greatness

This is not easy
Jesus doesn’t say, get this, get this overnight, and like it
Life has its challenges
You can work on them over time
Deep hurts take time.

But you choose how you will respond to a hurt
Baseball- missed fly in left
After you fail, get back up and get after it

When my daughter was young, she was very timid.
What do you do when you get knocked down?
Love Teaches you to get back up
Keep loving your enemies.

Mom models what they want you to do
One of the greatest things that you can do for your children is model forgiveness
My mom never told me about her problems
I learned about them from others
They were pretty painful
Today, someone would have gone to jail
She dealt with it in her own way and lived her life
Jesus models loving his enemies
Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing

How do we do this?
1. See them as people

Martin Luther King Jr. suggested that the first step is to look deeply at ourselves and to acknowledge that in each person we dislike there is still some good qualities that we can admire and love them in spite of it ("within the worst of us, there is some good").

See them as someone that God loves

Poet Yegveny Yevtushenko's autobiography tells how, in Moscow in 1941, the streets were lined with people, mostly women, waiting for a great parade of German prisoners. The atmosphere of hatred was palpable. Nearly every woman had lost husband, father, brother or son, and now was their chance to desecrate the symbols of those who had killed their menfolk. The Germans came into view ... thin, unshaven, wearing dirty bloodstained bandages, hobbling on crutches or leaning on the shoulders of their comrades ... the streets became dead silent. An old woman pushed through the crowd, past the police cordon and, taking something from her coat, pushed it into the pocket of an exhausted soldier - a crust of black bread. And now suddenly from every side women were running towards the soldiers, pushing into their hands bread, cigarettes, whatever they had. The soldiers were no longer enemies. They were people.

2. Secondly, you can pray for them.
You cannot hate someone when you are truly praying for them. Your heart cannot be filled with resentment and love at the same time.
Pray for them. It will change you.

If you are like me, you want to run from your enemies, from your pain
This gets us know where
You step into it. you come out on the other side over time
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil (Psalm 23:5 KJV).

Carl Jackson part two
At the end o f the game, you did all you could
Do all that you can and then get on with your life
No human will leave this world without a scar or two. Just don’t pick them and don’t let them fester

recap
so many suffer with this
what can I do?
stay the course
once spent 1.5 years trying to fix a relationship
sometimes you cant

the least we can do is this
Just don’t hurt them back. An eye for an eye…………

Gandhi, said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. "
- Martin Luther King


-=-=-=-=
Frederick Buechner, in one of the most memorable passages from a memorable book, The Magnificent Defeat (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1985):

The love for equals is a human thing ... of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles.

The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing ... the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world.

The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing ... to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is bewildered by its saints.

And then there is the love for the enemy ... love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer.

This is God's love. It conquers the World.

Relationship Series-The Work Place Colossians 3:17 05/06/2012

Sermon 5-6-12 relationships – the work place

Colossians 3:17
17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Deuteronomy 24:14
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
14 Do not take advantage of a hired man who is poor and needy, whether he is a brother Israelite or an alien living in one of your towns.

Ex 20:8-10
8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates.

One
Work – it is a four letter word
We find work to be mundane
Everybodys working for the weekend – 80’s hit

We must work
Six days you shall labor.
Things will happen that we don’t like.
Work is a needed thing
Work is a spiritual thing

Can you have a calling, sure but not everyone gets this
Yet everyone must work

If a man wouldn’t work, neither would he eat [find it] 2 thess 3:10

My mom was a stay at home mom
• Harder to do in this day and age
• Dave ramsey and the stay at home mom

One point five
If we must work we don’t have to hate it

The brick padio in 8th grade
I liked it. How it made me feel. How I made my dad happy

Since then I have had a few jobs.
Bike shop. Mcdonalds, I sold shoes, moved furniture, set pins in the bowing alley, washed dishes, mcdonalds again, self service gas station, youth director, laid asphalt, print shop, youth director again, built decks. Pastor, banker, pastor. And along the way to make extra money I have painted houses, hauled trash, and built just about anything that I could.

How to be a good employee

Apply yourself
Never think, This job is beneath me
Don’t complain, offer solutions
Make self indispensible to corporation

Treat the boss like jesus is your boss
When you honor them, you honor God
Treat your coworkers like they are brothers and sisters

Met a man last night who talked about his work, as his shadow ministry
Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good
As in all of life - The center of the work relationship is God

Stick with it.
The fish book
Make a conscious decision to like it
Moving to Princeton

Work is good. We don’t have to hate it.
See it as working for the Lord.

Two
Managers
Most of us have been hurt by a manager in the past
• Rick cato
• The only redeeming factor is that you must vow to never do to others what was done to you
Dealing with those who serve you
• See them as people
• Learn how to do it better
• What was the last book that you read on managing people
• Learn to tell them the hard things without hurting them
• I am the boss – is a card in your hand. Should not be the first card played but the last
• Take the opportunity that you have to build a culture

Three
Sabbath rest
The issue is not if you do something on Sunday or not
The issues is, we need to rest
We are so busy it is sinful. Come home and can’t find our keys

How long does it take for your brain to slow down, for the wheels to stop spinning?

Live your life in perspective

Work is a very important part of human life
Work is a gift from God
God should be at the center of the work relationships
Work as unto the Lord


Communion at 1115

Relationships - God John 3:1-8, 16-17 4/15/12

Sermon 4-15-12 relationships – God John 3:1-8, 16-17

1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2 He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him.”
3 In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.[a]”
4 “How can a man be born when he is old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb to be born!”
5 Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit[b] gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You[c] must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” ……
16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[f] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

A new series – relationships. Life together. Today – w God

The sermon that almost didn’t happen. We believe that god is in everything, so a relationship with him is described in every sermon in this series. But someone [wendy] mentioned that this is such a big question, everyone wants to talk about it. it is fundamental.

So, what does it mean to be in , have a relationship with God.


There comes a point of awareness and you make a decision.
God so loved the world- who so ever believes

A choice between the life you have led and the life you are invited to
Jesus described it as being born again
Don’t be nervous about that
Nicodemus from religion to life in the spirit
You and me, most likely from fear and insecurity to faith
Or from selfishness to Christ centeredness

Maybe you remember a decision, maybe you feel like you were always a Christian, but if you do, there was a time that you became aware of what was happening.

Some will tell you that you did it wrong [a pic of a scolding person could work here]
• You have to do it in church
• You have to say a prayer that looks just like this
• You have to come down front
• You have to do it publically
• You better remember when and know the day so you can have a spiritual birthday
• None of this appears as formula in the Bible

You don’t have to look like everyone else
God is unique, so are you.

You just have to be sincere
You know if you are sincere, so does God

Part two- after your initial awareness or decision - You start to grow
Or not, not everyone grows
There is difference between learning and growing –some people never submit themselves to him

Beware of hearing voices

How do we grow
1. Reading the bible [a pic of the bible]
2. Praying [a ppic of someone in prayer- maybe at wcc]
3. Get in a group – learn others ideas, questions, make friends, normal people keep you from being crazy/find a mentor
4. Experiencing God in life and creation [pic of a new baby, the grand canyon, the night sky]

Part three - What mature Christianity looks like – how do you know if you are growing

By the fruit of your life
• Not by how many scriptures that you know.
• Not whether or not you play cards of dance
• 1 cor 13
• Fruit of the spirit
• Learning to give yourself away – not my will but thine be done.

Conclusion - Where do we go from here
There is no magic pill.
There is not time that you arrive
Learning to live into the light of Our father is an ever changing experience
From glory to glory he’s changing us
We get a little sweeter all the time
You don’t arrive
It’s the live that you choose.
Its what you get to be.
And it is the most rewarding of lives

May the blessings of life with our Father be yours today and every day of your life.
Lets pray. [Choose him again.]

Words With Friends-Ralationships Ephesians 5:21-33 1/15/2012

Sermon 1-15-12 words w friends- relationships Eph 5:21-33=

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Note to jeff- also use 1 tim 6:1-3

1 All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered. 2 Those who have believing masters are not to show less respect for them because they are brothers. Instead, they are to serve them even better, because those who benefit from their service are believers, and dear to them. These are the things you are to teach and urge on them.

After reading those passages of scripture, the pastor had their complete attention, everyone, especially the wives were waiting, with brass knuckles in hand to see what words would come out of his mouth next.

Today is part 2 in our series words with friends. Our word from the scrabble tray for today is relationships

The broad range of relationships and problems with them
An entire sermon series after easter

Focus on marriage as an example that can be used

What is Paul saying. Are you still aghast that I read this passage. Let me help you.
We read this and think that Paul is pressing us into the dark ages. Paul did not write this for us. Paul wrote this for his day and for his day, it was ground breaking.
He was a raving liberal.
Slaves have rights? Kind to them? women have rights? Partnership? What?
He is apply the principles of faith to his culture.
We must do the same today.

Submit to one another
Give self as Christ gave himself for the church
In honor preferring one another Romans 12:10

What happens when we get this wrong
Parents that might want to manipulate you.
Children want everything.
Spouses insist you provide their needs

What I will get from you…..

Right at the center of all of this is us. Usually if there is a problem, part of the problem is me

Be kind- everyone u meet is fighting a great battle- philo of Alexandria

Bitterness and fear cause so many problems

1. Stop hurting each other
Why I am not a marriage counselor

2. Finding the healthy you

4 problems 4 kickers in marriage – four things that will sink the ship
In-laws, money, sex and children

We get it wrong about love……
Love is not attraction……….
I am attracted to you more that I am attracted to others
What happens when the attraction wears off?

Love is not dependence…..
Two broken people propping each other up
I am taking from you……..

Mom to son – what does your fiancé like about you
She thinks I smart, handsome and a good dancer

What happens when I need for me?
There should be give and take

Are you predominantly taking or giving

Relationships – acting vs reacting [the lover creates the love]


The lover creates the love – kiki the cat……..

What happens when we get this right?

When we get relationships right
I set healthy boundaries
Mom wants to manipulate me- no sorry, cant come
Kid wants a loan. Oh, I am sorry, you will have to figure that out

When we get relationships right
Primary relationship in the home is your marriage.
Ignore it to your peril
What people often do

When we get relationships right we understand that
Your ministry as a married person is to your spouse
To encourage them, help them fulfill their potential, bless them

what does long term success look like?
No relationship is perfect. Marriage is a dance between being madly in love one week and wanting to pull your hair out the next. There are challenges, there are seasons, but it is a wonderful thing when you find yourself at home and comfortable with the cadence.

You brought the best out of me….

Statement from Cathy
Jeff - Every relationship has rough patches, so it is important to always work hard to work through them. You know you are in love, when you want to put yourself second- you are just fine with it [being second]. Common goals are so important. When we spend years working together on shared values there is a bond that grows. We finish each other’s sentences. It is a little bit magical. I would rather spend time with you than with anyone else. You are my best friend.

Jesus said –
Let There be a washing of the feet. A laying down of one’s life. A going to the cross
Paul said, love is patient, love is kind
John said - Beloved, let us love one another………………1 jn 4

Conclusion –
How can we help
Fpu 5pm tonight

Marriage class We meet at 10:10 in room 306 and Dani and Rich Carroll co-teach with us. Bruce and Marilyn mcspadden. We are currently studying making decisions that foster freedom, respect, and responsibility for one's own behavior, thus providing a climate where love can grow.
This class has helped us get out of the rut of constant conflict.

We don’t like going to counselors…..shows weakness. No it shows selfishness. Intransigence. Love says, I will do whatever it takes…….I will go the second mile, the third…..

Came here looking for God to help you? I hope he has. Take that thought home. In your house pray. God help me to show grace.

Lent 3 Temptation 1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Sermon 3-27-11 Lent 3 - temptation 1 cor 10:12-13 = =
12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation[c] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[d] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[e] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Temptations – Jesus resisted temptation – lent is a good time for us to

Story of gods relationship w man does not begin w sin, but w love

The msg today is not about who much we are all great sinners.
It is about temptations that are real and what we can do to over come them and live as God intended us to live.

Problem of temptation is real
Only a relationship with God can fill the mystery of life
When we try to fill this other ways, we end up broken, and in sin

source of temptations
first important step is to take responsibility for your sin, and temptation

flip Wilson- the devil made me do it.

1 peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith

natural part of human living – Paul - spirit wars vs the flesh

James 1:13-14 we are drawn aside by our own lusts and tempted
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.

What are some of the big ones
Trying to fill the need with that which will not satisfy
Life a house w many rooms, be careful in kitchen – u will get burned

Shopping – kohls
if the definition of sin is sep from God, what separates you
if it doesn’t separate you, don’t worry about it [fight inappropriate guilt]
only you know if it is sin to you, but you do know.

Sexuality – a blessing
Infidelity -pornography
Addiction- Drinking- drugs - Eating
Love of money – stealing, cheating, your employer, the government

Ultimately temptation and sin is all about pride
Its about me- envy coveting pride
No one questions me
I will do what I want
It is my money,
It is my life

1 peter 5:5 in the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”[a] 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Why is God against this stuff?

1. god is not the cosmic killjoy he wants to save us from the pain

Paul Harvey tells an incredible story describing how Eskimos kill a wolf simply by coating several layers of frozen blood on a sharp knife sticking out of the frozen tundra. Apparently the wolf picks up the scent, and after circling the knife warily begins licking the frozen blood. He begins to lick faster and faster as the desire for blood literally drives the wolf wild. So great becomes his craving that the wolf never notices the sting of the sharp blade on his tongue as the blood being consumed gradually becomes his own. Morning finds the wolf lying dead in the snow.

2. it is bad for us -
succumbing to temptation leads to brokenness and guilt

3. sin is the great deceiver- always promises what it cannot deliver
you thought this was cool, but now you see it hurts

the farmer who picks up the snake – you knew what I was when you picked me up

God will make a way for you to get out of it
Do not judge those who are struggling w something
there are three things we do not know:
1. First, we do not know how hard he or she tried not to sin.
2. we don’t know the power of the forces that assailed him or her.
3. we don’t know what we would have done in the same circumstances.

God will make a way for you to get out of it
You do not have to succumb habitually

fight temptations
Put your mind somewhere else
Make good choices
avoid compromising situations
Don’t put yourself in positions of temptation

stay connected to Christian friends
find new friends

pray read scriptures [find words of hope]
Jesus is tempted in the wilderness Mt 4 - how did he counter? by the word

Call upon the name of the Lord for strength
take it to Jesus cast your cares upon him for he cares for
1 peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

lord give me strength

conclusion
2 cor 12:8-10 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul had a thorn in the flesh-
three times he prayed for it to go away
my strength is made perfect in weakness

what is your weakness
Stay out of the kitchen and spend more time in the chapel
What is your weakness – it is also the thing that drives you toward God

12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation[c] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[d] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[e] he will also provide a way out so that you can endur

Jeff Brinkman
Pastor
Woods Chapel United Methodist Church

You can read Jeff's blog at www.canyouhearthebirdssing.blogspot.com

Relationships - friendship Proverbs 18:24, 8/3/08

Relationships - friendship Proverbs 18:24, 8/3/08

If I were to send my pastor on a renewal leave, this is what I would hope for
Be able to relax
Find a peaceful heart
Enter nature
Get inspired
Read some good stuff that will help me
Come back with ideas for staff and for our future direction
Most of all, I hope that my pastor would be gripped with a feeling of "I want to come back" I want to be here. I miss you.
All of this has taken place
Thank you for this time away

quote - first church I have been involved w that was secure enough to let its pastor be gone for a six week renewal leave

reading during this renewal leave I decided to preach on relationships - because I have felt again the truth that loving others and being loved by them is a key gift of life

week 1 - friendships week, 2-marriage week, 3 - when things go work, week 4 - rel w God

Read Scripture: Prov 18:24
If a man would have friends, he must show himself to be friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

The problem
In our culture, there's an unsettled feeling, a malaise, life is not giving me what I want. Spending our time on the wrong stuff.
We're so busy striving for income that there isn't time for friendship. The divorce rate also goes up when people become richer, and partly it's because their very effort to become richer is a strain on the family. In general, materialists are unhappy people. If earning and consuming are less satisfying than friendship, why do we pursue them so vigorously?

Friendship defined
Friends are people with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with them. They ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you are.

a small boy defined a friends as "Someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same."

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle.

Biblical examples:
Abraham and Lot
Ruth and Naomi
David and Jonathan
Daniel and his three companions
Jesus and Disciples
Mary Martha Lazarus and Jesus
Paul and Silas
Paul and Barnabas
Paul and Priscilla and Aquilla
Jesus...I no longer call you servants but friends

Why are friendships important
Life is about relationships
Babies that are hot held develop "failure to thrive"
All of us need people to be connected to
Friends are those people with which we find special connections

• You want to hang w them
• You look fwd to seeing them
• They are good for you
• You can tell them your secrets--I call u friends...full disclosure

a writer described the significance in friendship: "The human journey is so short. We no sooner realize that we are here than it is already time for us to be leaving. The brevity of life gives a subconscious urgency to our desire to know ourselves. Dostoyevsky said that one of the greatest tragedies is that so many people live their lives without ever finding themselves in themselves. Perhaps this is what a friendship gives us. The real mirror of your life and soul is your true friend. A friend helps you to glimpse who you really are and what you are doing here." -- John O"Donohue, "Soul to Soul," Utne Reader

So where do friendships come from
If a man would have friends, he must show himself to be friendly
Tom Bales.......mowing the grass......came over and we sat down and visited

Do you wait around for others to be nice to you
Or do you go out and make friends

Joan and the man that she wanted to date
Quote
George Bernard Shaw asked his readers if we would be "a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievance, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Glass half full or half empty
See the good

Friendships are built and maintained on time invested
A Chinese proverb says, "the fifth cup of tea between friends is the best". Tea was made in old China simply by pouting hot water over loose tea leaves in a cup.

It is the fifth cup that becomes the symbol of friendship at its best.

We value friendship
Proverbs 17:17 - A friends loves at all times and a brother is born of adversity
From moments of pain, great relationships can arise
Because you have found someone that is trustworthy, who will care 4 yr heart

Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball's color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop PeeWee Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.

Paul McClain - tears

When you find a friend, you have found a connection

• There is something inside of me that connects to you
• There is something inside of me that responds to you
• I want to hang around with you
• I am better because of you

Softball coach........................I want you on this team
Cathy's old work friends wanted a get together...........We are not going to do this w/o you
Friends say, you matter

Do you have room for one more friend in your life?
reach out
Meet them in the coffee bar

Conclusion
Relationships are the most valuable thing that we have
Let us celebrate friendship
Let us show ourselves to be friendly

Lion video

Power of Words Proverbs 15 7-23-95

Power of Words 7-23-95 Proverbs 15

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away.....seminary
first heard of the power of words in a spiritual sense
Robert Schuler
Fred Price......go to meat market, ask for steak....don't settle for hamburger
name it claim it

there is power in what we say
nice kids, nice wife, not as big of a dufus as I remember
strange prayers for mom
raise the dead prayer
I've participated too.....my family has taken a beating this week

never so glad to be a United Methodist
ministers.....Glen Wiggs,, Brad Reed
.....DS....Bishop
encouraging words W.W. Cobb
Card in the mail
phone calls from you
hugs

failures & lack of experience make us nervous about trying to say something nice
what if I'm rejected? what if they are left out

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all

a good word at the right time

this heart....this mouth....gifts from God
Let that good word come forth, and be a blessing

When Relationship Go Bad - Hebrew 12:14-17 Aug 17, 2009

When Relationships Go Bad - Hebrew12:14-17 August 17, 2009

Difficult topic today

Marriage and Divorce
Today I offer: Pain then relief then hones responsibility
Matthew5 - except adultery
John4 - women at well
Adultery in and of itself is not enough
There is only one reason for fracture
Hebrew12 - loss of grace is the only reason
And sometimes we get there.....we do run out of grace

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and than no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many

Hubert Neth Story
When going to the pastor for their third marriage the couple was a bit nervous. What would the preacher say: In offering grace to the couple he told then that he had recently left a funeral where the widow had remarked on how glad she was that the old man was gone. So you see I celebrate love anytime I see it.

Friendships
Pain is easy to find

Many biblical examples of friendship
Jacob and Essau
Pharoah's butler and Joseph
Samson & Delilah
Job's friends=miserable comforters
Jesus and Judas
Paul and Barnabas
Jesus in John6:66
We find it
It hurts

Friendship
The wounds of a friend run deep
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs27:+
What was the friend trying to do

Honest Relationships Mathew 23 10-30-05

Sermon Matthew 23: honest relationships Eric Kelsey Painting

I went to a costume party….they said lose the hair.
Not a good costume….its just bad….not working for you

· Jesus is saying that to Pharisees…nice costume…nice mask….not foolin me
· They were pretenders, the epitome of the direct opposite of Jesus teaching
Pride, worldliness, and tyranny under a pretense of religion….
· In laying them open, Jesus teaches us some things about real Christian is
· Fact is I don’t think his primary purpose is to lay them open, but to free the normal people from their guilt laden religious junk

Who are you really? What you tell people you are, show people you are, or what you are on the inside

Jesus is pretty clear that they weren’t real.
I love these guys. They make even me feel good

Sins of the pharisees
· They condemned others for sins they embraced for themselves
Male pattern baldness-
Sometimes people lash out at others who have their same weakness
So and so is so brash

· Attracted attention to themselves
Everything is done to be seen by others
So insecure, needed others praise

Made a big show…broad phylacteries….paris airport
Ministry robes, david van giesen
Don’t blow your own horn….it is not a very pleasing tone
Ray says of himself….I am a great guy

· Took the best seats
Not only too the chief seats for themselves, but in so doing robbed others of what may have been rightfully theirs
I’ve got shotgun

· Titles….call me Jeff, my wife does….she calls me other things too, but I wish you wouldn call me those things….

· Strain a gnat, swallow a camel…..did not focus on the important parts
Love , truth, justice
More interested in religion or knowledge than in souls

· Worried about rules, never get to the heart
Worried about he heart, the character will follow
I want to build a church culture based on the work of the holy spirit, not rules
Holy spirit doesn’t need me to broker his work in your life

Jesus calls them hypocrites
What is a hypocrite…the church is full of hypocrites
· Not someone who goes to church but isn’t perfect…..oho, Jeff yelled at his wife, hes a hypocrite…
· Not a fallen person, not a broken person,
· Someone who says one thing and does another…no big hair in church
· Someone who holds themself up as an example and then isn’t
· Important call for Christians to be humble
· A stage player
· Clean on the outside, dirty on the inside

What are the implications for church
We have to be very careful about the kind of culture we create
They drew people to themselves
They were better than others
Build a church that is focused on Jesus Christ
Build a church where our hearts are welcoming and filled with Grace

What are the Implications for your daily living
11The greatest among you will be your servant. 12For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Servanthood in daily relationships

Marriage the playing field of crummy relationships……
2 ships passing in the night
my parents…..I gave up 25 years ago and it is too late to start over
go home and lose an argument

Implications of relationships with God
He knew who you were anyway

Marriage line….before whom the secrets of all hearts are known
The Require & Charge ___________ & ___________ I require and charge you both, as you stand in the presence of God, before whom the secrets of all hearts are known, that, having already considered in your own hearts and minds the holy covenant you are about to make, I want to remind you that you are now about to declare before this company your pledge of faith, each to the other. Be well assured that if your solemn vows are kept unviolated, as God’s Word demands, and if steadfastly you endeavor to do the will of your heavenly Father, God will bless your marriage, will grant you fulfillment in it, and will establish your home in peace.
Rita Bass Coors paid $7,000 for a porcelain mask hand-painted by JohnDenver. It had been purchased at the 1997 Charity Celebrity Ball for Hospiceof Metropolitan Denver. As the auctioneer handed it to her, it slippedthrough her fingers and shattered on the floor.The new owner of an expensive pile of broken pieces decided to keep themanyway. Rather than attempting to fix the mask, she placed the pieces in amontage of John Denver photographs.
God is on a mission to find and pick up the shattered, jagged lives ofbroken people and transform them into something beautiful.

How to be real:
1. let people see your warts…….it ok
2. sit down with them and talk. Tell your stories, good and bad
3. stay the course…..work on relationships
4. receive love and healing, offer love and healing

Regrets James 3:1-10 7-15-01

Sermon 7-15-01 Regrets James 3:1-10

Regrets
I didn’t take girls to nsync
Cathy regrets…she did
Other regrets….push someone in lake at party, they lose glasses
Words spoken in anger
Relationship that isn’t what you wish it was

Some regrets are based on actions
Words usually come before actions
Most regrets are based on words

James

How we talk at home
Remember that these people are human beings

Things we should never say
• Youre fat, I hate you,
• Ill do whatever I want & theres nothing you can do about it
• We should never have gotten married/had you
• Youre worthless
• You were a mistake

Times we should never talk
• When you are hot and tired
• When you have been wounded
• Particularly frustrated
• When you feel particularly self righteous

Sometimes its not what we say but how we say it
Learn to stop and think about how you are coming across
Mom-if you could only hear how you sound to others

Learn to say I am sorry
Doesn’t heal it all, but goes a long way

You are ministers to them

Lead to song…who will be jesus to them

Marriage - Sept. 10, 2000

Sermon marriage 9-10-00

Disclaimer
1. this sermon may not be for everyone…find a part
2. Brinkman house is not perfect….
3. Opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the

Marriage…the commitment to sleep in a room, too hot, next to someone who thinks it too cold

Genesis2:18-25
Helpmate….we are incomplete
2 become one
soulmates – [cathy pregnant with Scott]

Ephesisans 5:21-33
Love….the center of it all
Love vs submission
Mark Twain….no man can serve 2 masters
Choices we make
Communication
Caring/no put downs
Forgiveness
The fault box
Goals & Trust/ Compromise

Conclusion
2 healthy people make for a healthy relationship
one can work on it, that’s better than no one
the marriage is the primary relationship in the home

Change…everything changes

Goals….faith sharing….talk about your life, talk about your faith

Vows

Lisa, sing

Relationships - Proverbs6 - Sept. 17, 2000

Sermon 9-17-00 Prov 6
Tough scripture, lets look at the positive concepts here

Part three of relationships: you & the Lord, marriage, Playing well with others

Easy to do a sermon on being nice….but it doesn’t work without the roots
Steven Covey's 7 habits book, focus on root values, behavior will follow
Must have tools to behave well
Softball: Matt Swanson, go yard. Jeff, go yard. Don’t have tools

Values that lead to success in dealing with others
1. wicked vs good heart
measure what goes on in your mind, heart

Heart is used in Scripture as the most comprehensive term for the
authentic person. It is the part of our being where we desire,
deliberate, and decide. It has been described as "the place of
conscious and decisive spiritual activity," "the comprehensive
term for a person as a whole; his feelings, desires, passions,
thought, understanding and will," and "the center of a person.
The place to which God turns."Fan The Flame, J. Stowell, Moody,

2. negative or positive attitude
Always something we do not like/ok to not like whatever
Choose whether to disparage, bring others down

A survey asked mothers to keep track of how many times they made negative, compared with positive, comments to their children. They admitted that they criticized ten times for every time they said something favorable. A three-year survey in one city's schools found that the teachers were 75% negative. The study indicated that it takes four positive statements from a teacher to offset the effects of one negative statement to a child.

As much as 77% of everything we think is negative and counterproductive and works against us. People who grow up in an average household hear "No" or are told what they can't do more than 148,000 times by the time they reach age 18. Result: Unintentional negative programming.

3. tell the truth
blant lies
sowing mistrust by not following through
softball…."Ive got it"
keep your word, follow thru

Famous American Fibs
- The check is in the mail.
- I'll start my diet tomorrow.
- We service what we sell.
- Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
- Money cheerfully refunded.
- One size fits all.
- This offer limited to the first 100 people who call in.
- Your luggage isn't lost, it's only misplaced.
- Leave your resume and we'll keep it on file.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.
- I just need five minutes of your time.
- Your table will be ready in a few minutes.
- Let's have lunch sometime.
- Open wide, it won't hurt a bit.

4. don’t be proud
George Gordon Liddy, Watergate conspirator recently released from prison: "I have found within myself all I need and all I ever shall need. I am a man of great faith, but my faith is in George Gordon Liddy. I have never failed me."

The essence of the Christian faith is to be Chrsit centered. Self centeredness sneaks up on us at every turn..

There is only 1 seat in the throne room of your life.
Either you sit on it, or Jesus Christ sits on it

Dallas moore. 22 years later, he is a man of integrity. Good choices lead to

I invite you today to choose to submit the core of who you are to the Lord
Then you will be able to love the Lord with all your heart, love neighbor as self



Relationships=