Grateful: For Forgiveness, 11/15/15

Sermon Grateful for forgiveness gen 33:1-4

The story of Jacob and Esau is a classic story of forgiveness.  tell the story.

Jacob loved by Rachel, his mom

Esau loved by isaac the dad

Esau sells his birth right for a bowl of soup

Rachel helps Jacob steal the patriarchal blessing [father is almost blind]

Esau wants to kill Jacob.  Jacob flees

Years later they meet up in this scripture

Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. ² He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. ³ He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. ⁴ But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.

I am thankful for forgiveness.  So was Jacob. 

[seemingly big sins make us appreciate forgiveness]

But Esau was glad for forgiveness too.

Thank God that God forgives us!
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Oh, the relief of being forgiven when you knew that you deserved something else.

We are all thankful for forgiveness

The forgiveness that we receive

And thankful for the chance to forgive others-this is how we find a clean heart.

Forgiveness
We all understand this

People that we want to punch in the head…..

A Priest holding confessional asked---the Spanish fighter and patriot, Narvaez if he had anyone to forgive…..looked astonished he  said, "Father, I have no enemies, I have shot them all.

The business partner that stole from me
The rapist, the employer, the church member,
The cheater
The nazi’s, osama ben laden
At the core of every moment of forgiveness is the realization that Someone hurt me

But we know that we have hurt others as well

forgiveness is the main stuff of Christianity
Forgiveness of others
It's not easy
The concept of separation and reconciliation is central to the Christian faith…..
Methodists, Catholics, Baptists, Presbyterians believe this
but, As if it were optional, many Christians push Forgiveness over in the corner, like maybe one of these days I will get around to it

if we withhold forgiveness, there is no joy, no grace> > What would it be like if God said, peace, joy, but there was no forgiveness.

Optional for humans, not optional for human Christ followers
To reject the call for forgiveness is to reject the one who teaches that we must do it
So in effect, if you refuse to forgive someone, you are rejecting Jesus
and you are not on board with what God is trying to do in this world

there are many Misconceptions about forgiveness [back by popular demand… a request for repeat]
1. Approval of what they did
2. Excusing what they did
3. Justifying what they did
4. Not pardoning what they did- Forgiveness is different than justice and consequences
It is ok to get a restraining order. It is ok to go to court if need be.
5. Reconciliation - Restoration of fellowship- you don’t have to go for pizza

Doesn’t always happen.  Things can't always go back to the way that they were
6. Not a denying of what they did
7. Forgetting

Setting up boundaries with a person. They are toxic. They are going to hurt and abuse over and over. Forgiving is not forgetting.

What forgiveness is………

1. Forgiveness is being honest about my role…… did he really hurt me or do I have unmet even unrealistic expectations?  Sometimes we can get past our anger to see that we have played a role….

2.Forgiving is personal. You forgive people, not institutions or organizations. No one has ever been hurt by the church. People get hurt by people in that church.
I will never forgive that business that fired me. I will never forgive the church. You cant forgive a faceless institution.
This is why some people get stuck in life.

3.Forgiveness is absorbing the pain

I must die to my self..to my importance..my ideas, my pride.. I make another important I make a mean person important..I give up my place for them. This is love.

True forgiveness is hard to extend because it demands that people let go of something they value--not a piece of jewelry, but pride, perhaps, as sense of justice, or desire for revenge.
Or the desire to hurt back

A Nobel prize winner tells the story of a marriage that disintegrates over a bar of soap.
It was the wife's job to keep the house in order, including the towels, toilet paper and soap in the bathroom. One day she forgot to replace the soap. her husband exaggerated the oversight: "I've been bathing for almost a week without any soap." She vigorously denied forgetting to replace the soap. Although she had indeed forgotten, her pride was at stake, and she wouldn't back down. For the next seven months, they slept in separate rooms and ate in silence. Their marriage had suffered a heart attack. "Even when they were old and placid," "they were very careful about bringing it up, for the barely healed wounds could begin to bleed again as if they'd been inflicted only yesterday." How can a bar of soap ruin a marriage? The answer is actually simple. because neither partner would say. "Forgive me."

Sometimes it doesn’t matter who was right.  You take the hit to keep the relationship.

if This concept sounds familiar. Isn't it what Jesus did?
if you don’t absorb the pain, you don’t forgive.  It is not simply a thing of mental assent, we must absorb the pain.

4. Forgiveness – point in time, a choice and a process

. Maybe step one is deciding that you really are not going to kill them. It’s a start. Considering the fact that these people may be forgivable may be a radical concept for you.

If I can wave my hand and forgive you, then what was between us wasn’t very much

When the pain goes deep the road to forgiveness is long
The greater the hurt, the greater the blessing that comes from forgiveness
Forgiveness is point in time...you can decide

But it is also a process , it takes time….
It is like pulling on the rope that rings the bell
Even after you let go, the bell rings for a while
It takes a while for the hurt to stop..but it will
it begins with a choice

5.  Forgiveness is needed by you as much if not more than the person you may need to forgive.

I hope you will choose to forgive
Unforgiveness is a gathering of chains that begin to weigh me down and
I choose them myself
The Christmas carol...I am the ghost of Jacob Marley....
"Ebenezer Scrooge! These chains that I wear in death, I forged in life!"
Scrooge admired his craftsmanship. "They're good chains," he said.

Chains look stylish – bling!
Chains are rusty and dirty
Chains are heavy

There is nothing pretty about the chains of unforgiveness

You drag them along in this life and they weigh you down……..

The consequences of unforgiveness…

Bitterness
Others are defiled
Broken fellowship with God
If you refuse to forgive, you are living your life in your own strength
Thoughts are consumed with anger and sadness

Consider the consequences of forgiving
Love can come back in
They get grace from me
I get grace from God
I can move on to live…. [the divorced person that spent the rest of their lives hating the person that they were married to….]

When we forgive we can move on to live

Litany of forgiveness
the bible is filled with stories of forgiveness

David, Jonah, Joseph’s brothers
Hosea’s wife – do you know the story???

Jesus teaches much on forgiveness……..
Jn 4 the woman at the well.
Jn 8, the woman caught in adultery
The prodigal son

The woman who washed his feet with her hair

The story of the Pharisee and the publican

The unmerciful servant
The disciples that deserted him
The thief on the cross

jesus on the cross – father forgive them

Peters denials
Saul, murderer of Christians – unbelievable…..

Forgiveness is unbelievable-what God can do in a person who is willing
When Allied troops liberated the Ravensbruck concentration camp in 1945, they stumbled onto the indescribable horror of the Nazi Moloch-machine in which 92,000 women and children had died. But they also came across signs of unquenchable faith. The following words were found written on a piece of wrapping paper near the body of a dead child:

O Lord, Remember not only the men and women of goodwill, but also those of ill will.
But do not only remember the suffering they have inflicted on us,
Remember the fruits we brought thanks to this suffering,
Our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, the courage, he generosity,
the greatness of heart which has grown our of all this
And when they come to judgment, Let all the fruits that we have borne
Be their forgiveness, Amen, Amen, Amen

Isis……. Stretches my understanding of Christianity.  Must protect our society.  Must put the evil out from among us.  A war worth sending my children

Gods story is bigger than the current chapter of how well the bad guys are doing

Yet we are invited to forgive…..

Matt 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?  22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.
7 times? 490 times?

Peter thought that he had done enough

Peter Rollins story of going the third mile…………..

Our humanness gives us an opportunity to be small
Forgiveness gives us and opportunity to be great
When you are a player on the platform of pain, and you step in and truly forgive,
you have chosen the right road, you have chosen the way of love, you have chosen to bring a healing balm to the wounded, you have chosen to bring greatness to the arena of life

Conclusion

Do you want to start the process of forgiveness?
1. Choose to forgive and say the words
2. Make a choice not to tell anyone what they did

surrender the right to revenge- We need to stop telling the stories. Then maybe someone will stop remembering the person in that way
3. Be pleasant to them when around them
4. If conversation comes up, say words that release them from bondage
This allows them to feel good about themselves
5. Protect them from their fear
6. Pray for them –
forgive them,
bless them

understand that something has to happen in our hearts between God and us. things change when we realize that what needs to happen is not something between me and the person, but between me and God
7. Finally forgiveness comes when we are able to wish them well. [I agree not to be the instrument of gods wrath, but I hope that someone else gets them.]
Love your enemies, pray for those who use you
We cannot pray for someone and hate them at the same time.

Understand that they are not yours. They belong to God. Entrust them to God

See jesus with them

Keep it up – next week, next month, next year

I am thankful for forgiveness. 

See also 2 cor 5

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ 

I am thankful for forgiveness.  It frees us from our sin.  It frees us from resenting others.  It frees us to live.  Forgiveness gets the ugly out of the way and makes room for reconciliation, gratitude and joy

Forgiveness brings the promise that tomorrow does not have to be a repeat of today….