Job Part 2 Friendly Advice Job 4:1-21 09/11/2011

Job 4:1-21 thru 5:1 Job part 2 Sermon title - friendly advice

Job the series

Today - Job gets bad advice
These lines from the bible must be understood in their context

This friend’s msg is –
It’s your fault you’re suffering. - You deserve it. - Implied by

It’s for you own good. - It’ll make you a better person. - Eliphaz in 5:17ff

It’ll pass. Eventually you’ll be fine. - Eliphaz in v. 22

These responses aren’t really about Job, they are about Eliphaz and they hurt.

What is the msg of the other friends
Bildad – your children died because of their sin
You have been evil. Repent and you will be restored

Zophar -you are not as righteous as you think
Turn from evil
Job you are so arrogant that I am upset with your arguments
God will expose your wickedness

Everyone will suffer in their life
The loss of a pet
The loss of a parent
Financial problems, fear, worry, illness
God forbid, the loss of those before their time
I don’t understand life

We don’t like it- we want to understand it
No- we want it to go away

So we human beings tend to look for easy answers
Sometimes we gravitate to charismatic leaders who seem to have all the answers
We want answers
We want them easy
We are uncomfortable with not knowing
We are uncomfortable with being uncomfortable
We all hope for a Christian faith that does not have a cross
We are uncomfortable with the mystery of life. With the mystery of God

Many of us humans are “fixers”. Got a problem? No problem. We got a solution!
Good when you have a flat tire. Good when you have a leak in the roof.
When you are hurting…not so good.

Ministry of Fixing is not always helpful.
Telling can be hurtful.
Denial can be hurtful.
Advising can be hurtful.

Some typical human easy answers…………
Or what not to say
The New York Times, December 7, 1999.
• To a man whose elderly mother died: Oh, well, she was 79.
• To a 60-year-old recent widow: Don't worry. You're young and attractive; you'll find someone else.
• To a woman whose husband died of lung cancer: You have to meet this man. His wife also died of lung cancer.
• To a man whose 26-year-old daughter died of AIDS: If she hadn't been that way, God wouldn't have struck her dead with AIDS, and It was just a purification thing.
• To a woman who suffered a miscarriage: It is probably for the best.
• To a woman whose 25-year-old son was killed: At least you have four other children.

Things that I have personally heard – not helpful
I know how you feel
Don’t cry
Time heals all wounds
God doesn’t put more on us than we can take
it must have been their time/ Everything happens for a reason/It was god’s will

Having said that, here are some things that I say to you now:

DO SAY:
I am sorry
___________ was a good person and friend of mine. I will miss him or her.
We love you we care for you
Tell me how I can help; I want to be here for you
I stand with you.

Engage in The ministry of presence

Ministry of Presence is sometimes (most times) what’s needed.

Silence = just being with the person
I know you want to talk, but its ok, not to…….
Silence acknowledges there aren’t easy answers.

Validation = I love you and I stand with you
acknowledges the sufferers feelings
is not encouraging anyone to wallow in self-pity.
is accepting the sufferer’s response as their response.

Support = offering what’s needed when it’s needed
Is not fixing it -it is not providing your solution.
Support is waiting for the sufferer to ask for help.

engage in the ministry of comfort
God takes a hand whenever he can find it
• The pastor takes someone’s hand to pray for them
• the hand of a doctor to relieve the pain,
• the hand of a mother to guide a child.
• The hand of any of us to comfort to a neighbor.
They’re all hands touched by his Spirit, and his Spirit's everywhere lookin' for hands to use.

Do not doubt the value of your presence, of your touch
The comfort that we deliver – Food – kindness
Understand that your acts of comfort are very very important.

Be there
Hug them
Tell them that you love them and you stand with them
Pray for them

The end –

9-11 remembering prayer time
transition
Ten years ago the worst and best of humanity was revealed. – who do you want to be?

Trust god
Seek to be Resilient. Seek restoration with all of God’s children.
Love your neighbor
This is the message of our faith.

Lets take a few moments now as tom and lisa sing to remember our country, our heroes, those who lost their lives, and our God who comforts and sustains us.